To subdue the enemy without fighting is the supreme excellence. - Sun Tzu

Monday, May 23, 2005

The questions no one's asking:

Why was there equipment for administering electric shocks?
Why are there chains and handcuffs on the ceilings of the cells?
Where did they learn these techniques?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

"It's okay to kill innocent Muslims", he says

I wonder if Zarqawi remembers how well that worked in Egypt? (for the record, it didn't)

The difference, however, is that whereas those killers-of-the-innocent were opposing the local government, the Iraqi version is opposing a foreign occupation which has only slightly more respect for the lives of innocents. So, the question is, who will the Iraqi people tire of first: The foreign insurgents (but not the local insurgents) or the US occupation?

Personally, I think Iraq will decay into a mafia-style many-sided orgy of slaughter, since their Clan system is still very strong, and there are three distinct ethnic groups.

Millions will die by the end of the decade. Thanks, Republicans.

Monday, May 16, 2005

We Interrupt This Revolution

Today while putting some groceries away on the top shelf of the refrigerator, my hand got close to the lightbulb- it was hot. I mentioned that this seems counterproductive in a device designed to produce cold, but it was pointed out that the light isn't on all the time. I replied:

"There is no scientific way to prove if the light in the refrigerator goes off when the door shuts. The only way to tell would be to climb in and shut the door, but, as we all know from after-school specials, this causes guaranteed death. So, I climb in, shut the door, and it gets dark- but is this because the light went off, or am I observing the infinite abyss of death?"

Hopefully, recent advances in quantum chaos theory will help us solve the age-old of whether or not the light in the refrigerator ever goes off.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Traffic is getting worse.

duh... because there are more people!
There's no way around it: The more people, the worse the traffic. I mean, does it get any more obvious than that?
People have shown that they are unwilling to take the bus. The only way to seriously reduce traffic is to reduce the number of people. If those farking unelected municipal 'leaders' would stop trying to inflate their frickin' egos with a larger number on the "Welcome to (city), Population: " signs while simultaneously providing an unwarranted boon to businessmen (usually themselves or their cronies) who own construction companies by changing the tax code to encourage sprawl, there would be no problem! Curse you, bourgeoisie!